Have you ever wondered why you always get the same reaction to the things you say or do?
Are you constantly frustrated by the negative attitude in the meetings you chair? Or perhaps you frequently lose a sale at the final stages of negotiation? Does your teenage daughter regularly ignore your advice?
If you keep behaving the same way, you will continue to get the same reactions.
If you want a different outcome, you have to do things differently. That means adjusting your behaviour until get a more desirable result. Change can be challenging, we are creatures of habit and doing something different can feel uncomfortable. But unless you step out of your comfort zone, you will continue to get the results you don’t want.
4 simple steps to facilitate behaviour change
It takes conscious effort to change what you do, but the rewards are worth it for you and the people around you. The A-R-A-R cycle below is a 4 step process to facilitate behaviour change.
Start by being aware. Get into a state of awareness by being present and observe when, where and how each situation evolves. Be curious and observe what happens to you and the people around you. How are you behaving? Notice how they react and how you feel.
The next step is to reflect on what happened. Ask yourself questions to help you get a better understanding. Was this an isolated incident or has it happened before? Is there a pattern of behaviour? Do you get the same response every time? What outcome would you prefer?
Be honest with yourself, don’t try and hide behind excuses or blame. See this as an opportunity to learn and grow. To get a different perspective of the situation, ask a trusted friend or colleague for their view.
Now is the time to take action and try something different. A small change can make a big difference. The change you make must be authentic and have everyone’s interests at heart.
Doing nothing will get you nowhere, trying something will get you somewhere.
Finally, take stock and review the situation. What happened? What was successful and what was unexpected? What more or what else can you do?
Continue the A-R-A-R cycle of awareness, reflection, action and review until you are happy with the reactions you get. Remember change requires patience and practice, lots of it.
The way you behave as a leader affects how the people around you act and feel. And this ultimately affects how they perform.
How do you influence the performance of the people working for you?